Because I’m blogging from his new iPad, meaning I’ve claimed it on the internet. This shits MINE! Boom. They always say possession is 9/10 of the law, and I’m an attorney so if I say it, that shits legal, and this is now mine. Alternatively, we could enter into a joint custody agreement for our iPad, namely if I’m awake it’s mine and if the kids are sleeping it’s mine, you can have it at all other times. Also drugging me does not count as sleeping, I know what you’re thinking. I figure surrendering your iPad is just one of many things you can do to make up for the fact that I birthed two children and gave them your name, the debt that can never be repaid, seriously. For now your iPad will do, at least until I look at my stomach in the mirror again or when we manage to save up for a cooler new version of the iPad and then I give you this one back. So again my apologies….
*****Massive legal disclaimer-saying that possession is 9/10 of the law is not law and is rarely an appropriate legal defense, if you rob a bank and say that, you will go to jail, you should always consult a local attorney licensed in your jurisdiction before making any claims, defenses, etc.******