Tag Archives: Fifty Shades

Fifty Shades of Mommy Porn


While I don’t make a habit of doing book reviews and I’m not sure I could call it that, I couldn’t help jumping on the bandwagon and add a bit of unwanted/unneeded commentary. So if I’ve lapsed a bit in blog writing it’s because I’ve been busy with 2 kids immersed in a bit of mommy porn. I can’t take credit for the name mommy porn either if you haven’t already heard it, that’s actually what someone else called it at work that place I go to avoid my children 2 days a week (hey we all have our escapes so quit judging) and what it’s been called on the internet.

Fifty Shades of Mommy Porn (which might be what it really is), is better known as the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy (Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed). Which tracks the relationship? (if you can call it that) of one Anastasia Steele, innocent recent college graduate (but apparently unknowing fan of kinky shit) and Christian Grey (former sadist turned Dominant i.e. I like to control all things sexual and otherwise because I can/need to and to quote the book megalomaniac). The book is considered erotica and I’m beginning to think it may be the new way in which people secretly judge just where you fall on the how comfortable you are with your sexuality spectrum (aka are you secretly into kinky fu*$ery) by how you respond to questions regarding your interest in the books and whether you’ve read them. For example if you’ve read them and found them a sad excuse for erotica, there will be some that think you’re clearly a sadist and their opinion of you will never be the same, perhaps you’re like me though and it has nothing to do with erotica and you just want to send Ms. E.L. James a gift wrapped thesaurus midway through the second book and tell her to find some new words because if you have to read any form of the word beguile again you might pull your hair out and not in a sexual sort of way, but a I can’t stand to f*$king read this anymore unless you find some new verbs, nouns and adjectives.

I will say this, I’ve never been a big fan of the word F%$K and really don’t find its need in society, however after having read these three books, I don’t think the word will ever phase me again. It’s used so often in the books that you could walk up to me and say “I’m off to the grocery store this afternoon, then I’m going home to F*&K the pool boy” and I would be like “Have fun” thinking you had just said something as normal as I’m going to run home and then take the kids to gymnastics. It’s now as innocuous as the word “the” in my everyday language, it has basically no effect on me. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Bottom Line: Read the first book, it’s the best (and perhaps the worst or best in the erotica sense if that’s what your reading them for you dirty reader you) and will tell you whether to keep reading or stop. But ultimately I think everyone can read these and learn a little about themselves while doing it, even if it’s as simple as you don’t like the books. Lastly, while E.L. James is not the new Charlotte Bronte, the books are truly deep down a romance and I for one, am always a sucker for a romance even poorly written and hidden in all kinds of “kinky fuc&ery”.

I give them 2-2.5 out of 4 stars. And highly encourage them to anyone trying to get pregnant right now. =)