Do we enthusiastically drag our wee little children to see the man with the red suit and hat because they WANT to see Santa or do we want them to see Santa so that we can memorialize the moment in a crappy picture that we’ll share with the world and then not look at for another year? I don’t even need to dignify my own question with a response, the crappy picture below says it all. We have this amazing light display in our local park that we walk through each year with the kids and then wait in line to see the infamous man with the bag. This year the line with infinitely less long than last and the majority of it was inside thanks to the snazzy new Santa shack they built. However, picture it from a 2 going on 3 year old’s perspective. Enthusiastic parents talk up visiting Santa to ensure said toddler doesn’t throw a freaking tantrum upon actually seeing Santa and to pass time in line, quiz small child on what they will tell Santa they want for Christmas. Small child becomes super excited to see Santa, wait in what seems like endless line for toddler (really like 20 minutes) only to be presented in front of the man with the bag who is facing such a daunting line that he slaps a Santa button on you and your baby sister who he picks up due to size, forgets to even ask you what you want for Christmas, Mom snaps a photo with her iphone and out the exit you’re shoved. A lifetime of waiting for 30 seconds of what? I’d be underwhelmed too, which is clearly the theme of this year’s photo with Santa. Meanwhile Baby Sister notorious for her honest expressions is looking at everyone like really people, WTF was that about.
So no cute/funny screaming Baby pictures,no happy faces, just one awful iphone photo that took 20 minutes of our time and will likely result in years of therapy later in life after we repeat this tradition each year in search of that one photo that captures the joy of seeing Santa, should there ever be one. I mean really, how sitting on some complete stranger’s lap whose covered in how many germs from all the other small children, sweaty and smelling like candy canes is not representative of the joy of Christmas I have no idea.
Perhaps next year will be better, when I’ll have my fancy shmancy camera that I’m getting for Christmas this year. Or perhaps it will be an equally underwhelmed photo and just be of significantly better quality. I’d settle for the removal of the glowing possessed eyes. Seems like the least I can ask for.
drag take your wee ones to see Santa? How was your trip?
“If you’ve done everything you should extra special good
He’ll make this December the one you’ll remember
The best and the merriest you ever did have
Everybody’s waiting for the man with the bag
‘Cause Christmas is coming again”
To the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas
On the 30th day til’ Christmas, Santa gave me:
30 more days too many
29 reasons to research toddler discipline
28 million tears shed (not mine)
27 nose blows
26 ways to attempt to corral a tantrum throwing two-year old
25 reasons to want to beat my head against the wall
24 plus times I’ve said No!
23 emails read
22 emails deleted
21 toddler threats made ( I no like that Mama)
20 hits thrown by angry toddler leaving the library
19 hairs probably turning gray
18 more years until everyone has graduated
17 minutes of quiet, does this mean they’re finally sleeping
16 times I’ve reminded him to say please
15 minutes of corralling at the chiropractor
14 mismatched socks
13 crumbs spilled
12 million reasons to quit this song
11 toys strewn about
10 minutes of sanity wanted
9 articles of clothing they’ve already worn/dirtied
8 more hours in this day
7 more months until warm weather
6 hours of sleep tops
5 more hours until bedtime
4 annoying animals to care for
3 time’s I’ve reminded him it’s nap time
2 whiny, crying, naughty children AND
1 uselesssssssss elf on ..theeeee… shelf!
BAHHHH HUMBUG When will it be July?