Tag Archives: Baby

I’m NOT a 7-Eleven!!


Latch on, Latch off. You see lots of posts about the gymnastics of nursing a toddler, hell I think I’ve even written one, back when I was writing regularly. We’re not going to discuss this past month hiatus, we’ll chalk it up to Flu-mageddon 2012 and lots of traveling. Anyway, what’s worst than the gymnastics of nursing a toddler, the inconvenience nursing is to their play schedule and 20 second attention span. No that doesn’t mean they want to wean, I can hear some of your brains right now, I’m psychic like that, thinking just wean her. I assure you this kid doesn’t want to wean yet, because when I’m not operating like a convenience store full of milky boob goodness, she simply dive bombs my chest and starts screaming. Because that’s what non-verbal toddlers who don’t know sign language do. They dive bomb your chest. ANYWHERE. In the grocery store, Target, the bank, at the park, Grandma’s house. Anywhere that is super inconvenient for nursing, let alone when you have to nurse a toddler who couldn’t be inconspicuous if her life depended on it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for nursing anywhere, but that doesn’t mean I want to put on a production, I don’t need to be the star of Pippa’s lets eat and play and eat and kick and upside down and around the neck and latch on again show. It can wait for home, where there’s a chair or a bed or somewhere comfortable where I can close my eyes and not have to view the show, just take up my role as the nursing 7-eleven, until the same shopper finally makes up her mind and buys the damn milk, so to speak. Waiting ’til home also won’t start the annoying when are you going to wean her questions, the kid’s barely on the charts for her weight as it is, she does eat solid food, we will continue to feed her solid food but I’m not taking away her favorite food source until she wants to. PERIOD. Even if it means I have to live with the role of a 7-eleven for awhile longer. Okay, that’s enough ranting, now I’m going to dazzle you with a few pictures of adorableness and swear to you I will find the energy to write a blog post again before another month somehow passes, perhaps I will even find it in me to make it entertaining, no promises.



Don’t you just love the snot coming out of his nose, classic!

Also I wish I could bottle his curls and sell them, I would totally buy them for myself if I could!!!


Addicted to Diapers


(Photo Credit: Someecards)

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to go back and play 20 questions with yourself, sometime in the past? For example if almost 30 me when back and chatted with 17 or 18-year-old me, I can only imagine the reunion would go something like this…

Teenager Me upon seeing Future Me arrive: Gasps…where did those 30 pounds come from and what happened to your hair, it isn’t blond anymore? What are you doing to future me?????????? Note that teenager me was a little vain and suffered from rather nasty eating disorder toward the end of high school.

Future Me: Yeah about that, the question is where did those 15 pounds come from, because you could gain at least 10, and it was a small price to pay for future children, and surprisingly, unfortunately, in reality blond you sticks around for quite some time.

Teenager Me: Taking in this information and glancing at Future Me’s wedding ring: WAY TO GET MARRIED!!!! What’s he like? (Can we say one-track mind?)

Future Me: NO NO NO, no giving away anything you’ll have to do that on your own, but he’s perfect for you, that’s all I’ll say!  Now I’ve got a few questions for you…How do you feel about diapers?

Teenager Me: UGH diapers smell bad, and aren’t they really bad for the environment? Teenager me already cared about the environment, just not her own body, what can I say, nobody’s perfect. Teenager me also had no idea what cloth diapers were except something her parents or grandparents used and were believed to be extinct much like a triceratops.

Future Me: Yes diapers, don’t you think they’re completely addicting…don’t you care about your future children?

Teenager Me: Umm perhaps you should seek therapy, meanwhile I think I’ll have a diet coke.

Future Me: Okay but make sure to STUDY!!! and don’t drink too much!!! (what can I say I’m a mother)

Clearly teenager me must think I have some kind of weird obsession with poop if I love diapers this much. You might think I’ve lost my mind, but then I would have to ask you, do you use cloth diapers? Because you probably don’t. They are super addicting. Not just because they are actually cheaper than disposable diapers (albeit your initial investment is a bit higher), they are better for the environment (don’t get me started on my insane theory  that someday we’re going to send all the disposable diapers from the landfills to a black hole without actually knowing the effect this will have on the universe), better for your baby’s bottom (think less chemicals) and honestly they are way cuter. I think it’s this last bit that has so many of us addicted. There are so many different options and kinds from cotton babies including the well-known bumGenius and flip to best bottom  to FuzziBunz to Tiny Tush (From WI <3) and so so many others, those are just some of my favorites. Cloth diapers come in a never ending sea of colors, patterns, styles and materials. There are cloth diapers for all occasions.  To the point that I have to refrain from adding to my stash simply because I want her to have that super cute pattern or color not because she needs another cloth diaper. That’s what’s so great about them though, they are not just functional but adorable, easy to use and wash as well and who doesn’t love adorable.  I think we may have to start support groups, alternatively perhaps some kind of diaper swapping program because at this rate,  when you just want to keep buying it’s not so much the savings that cloth diapers give you but the hug that your giving mother nature by using them and the ability to keep the chemicals typically found in disposable diapers off your baby’s bottom. But seriously how does THIS in lovelace not make your heart swoon. Clearly I need help, I wonder what they call an addiction to diapers?

Anyone else out there have this problem, perhaps we could start a support group  buy in bulk together for some kind of discount? =)

English: Cloth Diaper

English: Cloth Diaper (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Disclaimer: None of the above links paid or gave me anything for mentioning them in my word vomit, think of this as merely the 1st step in admitting my addiction at which time I mention some of my favorite cloth diaper manufacturers. If for any reason you buy something for reading this, lucky them, if you continue to keep reading this, lucky me!

How Clean is your Clean?


Brecken rarely put things in his mouth that weren’t supposed to go there. All of my choking neurosis with him was focused on the fact that he never seemed to want to chew his food enough. Nevertheless, given he was my first or because people always want to give you advice, people kept warning me, babies always put things in their mouth that they shouldn’t, you can never be too careful… While likely true for most babies and I’m sure he did but even as I type this I can’t recall anything, no freak out moments where he almost swallowed something he shouldn’t, nada. Now Pippa on the other hand, well I’m going to offer her clean testing services for the  mere price of 1 hour of babysitting or $50.00. Ladies and Gentlemen throw away your white gloves because I assure you I’ve got something better.

The Pippa Test.

I merely set her down near or on the clean service and she will very carefully and thoroughly inspect every square inch of it and find the only speck of dirt around for miles.

Then very carefully she will take out her secret weapon, aka her pointer finger and grind that speck of dirt down onto the floor sooo hard and for sooo long that it is guaranteed to stick to her finger and then BAM before you can say “WHAAAT” it’s in her mouth. And before you can blink an eye she’s eaten dirt, dog hair, a combination of dirt and dog hair, the clear tag from a clothing purchase….the list goes ON and FREAKING ON…

I see an emergency room visit in our future very soon unless I really resort to caging my baby. Because in a house with two dogs and a two year old, lets just say she’s having herself a field day. Can babies have pica, because the concerning part is she doesn’t seem to mind the taste of mounds of dog hair? Even better yet, this little lean mean sneaky eating machine is now refusing to take a bottle if I’m not here…Fab-u-NOT.

So now my new goal is trying to not only keep our house which is a DISASTER due to all our traveling as of late clean but to keep it Pippa clean and find something she will eat on the days I work. Sigh. Do any of your babies have strange okay maybe this isn’t so strange, lets say aggravating habits?

lean mean blue eyed dirt eating machine

Don’t let her fool you, she’s a lean, mean, blue-eyed, dirt-eating machine!

The Mama Work Out


Losing baby weight is a total bummer, I mean losing it is great, but all the work you have to go through after the natural weight loss from childbirth/breastfeeding slows down is not so much fun!!! Especially after having a second child, the weight just fell off after the first, this time, not as much. So to the local YMCA I go, or at least try to. But on those days when it just doesn’t happen because of a cranky child or late nap or lack of motivation and dedication as my husband would say, I’ve rationalized that it doesn’t matter because on those days I participate in the Mama Work Out, it goes something like this.

The A.M. Workout

This can begin as early as 6:00 a.m. or as late as 7:30 a.m., it lasts until around 11:30 and starts with arm weights, lifting your yelling 29 pound 2 year old out of bed and onto the changer. You then manage to work several arm muscle groups while using one arm to wrangle kicking legs and the other to furiously wipe his bum.  Further arm lifting ensues when you try to dress him and he implements his latest attention seeking tactic and goes totally limp. This then carries over when you have to carry 29 pounds down 13 stairs, back up to get the 16 pound little sister and back down you go, now you’ve got cardio and arm lifting. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat…or in this case lift up, down the stairs, set down, back up, lift up, down the stairs, set down…whenever everyone needs to go upstairs for something, immediately the limp tactic comes into play and you’re working those arm muscles again. Do this at least 10 times a morning.

The Stroller/Lunch Workout

Want to meet some friends at the park for a stroll/lunch? Don’t think the workout stops here. Arm workout number 34 of the day, lift the mammoth double stroller out of the trunk, lift 16 pounds of passed out baby plus her car seat into the stroller, then grab the 29 pounder and push, add 10 minutes of cardio to that and you’ve managed to find your lunch destination. Time to pack on those calories, but first you better lift that squirming 29 pound 2 year old out of the stroller, since obviously his legs are broken and he’s going limp again yelling MILK. Finagle ordering, pushing heavy stroller to find a spot to eat and plopping 2 year old in chair. Furiously eat while trying to get 2 year old to eat and then time to load up again. Work off those lunch calories on the walk back through the park and for the grand finale of this workout, wrestle 2 year old who doesn’t want to leave into car seat and buckle him in, pack away still passed out baby in her car seat and then return mammoth heavy double stroller to trunk. Whew, done.

Afternoon/Nap Workout

10 minutes later and you’re home again and ready for the next workout, lug cranky 2 year old whose naturally limp and whining up the stairs for a diaper change, on the changer, off the changer, onto the potty, off the potty, onto the changer (please don’t assume he’s being cooperative during all of this) and clothes back on. If you’re lucky you only took one or two kicks to the face/arms during all of this or had your ear drum blown out with one of his many complaints. Now to do your cool down you pick up the 16 pound baby, change her, return her to the floor and pass out in the chair to read some nap time stories.

The Blissful Rest Period

The couple hours where the 29 pound baby sleeps and you only have to tote around your very attached 16 pound baby who wants to be held constantly.


and we’re off again…you’ve been yelled at from the bedroom and wait what, he wants to get up himself and walk to the bathroom, sure!! False alarm, halfway there he melts down and goes limp, pick him up, potty, changer, up, down, turn around, put your right arm in and shake it all about. Lug him downstairs and fix a snack in the kitchen all while the 29 pounds of dead weight hangs onto your leg, yelling pick me up, no I don’t want that, I want this. Do this until you can find something that appeases you both, so this portion of the workout could be 5 minutes or 25 minutes. Don’t forget you should be carrying your 16 pounder while doing this, if it’s a light day she may lounge in her jumper for you. Repeat for dinner but add in some arm lifts to get everyone in their proper boosters/high chairs. Afterwards, play with the kids, run around the back yard, maybe go for a walk and get some cardio in. Then for your last set of arms for the night lug everyone upstairs for baths and bed, up, down, up, down, clothes off, into tub, out of tub, onto changer, into jammies, onto floor, next baby…Finally your 29 pound weight is in bed and you’re just left with the 16 pound baby who will go to bed with you. When you finally lie down for the night, you pass out thinking, tomorrow, yes tomorrow I will go to the gym!

Today You are Six Months Old!


Dear Philippa Brynn,

Today you are six months old or 262,974.383 minutes and counting!!!! Goodness, I thought it would be more minutes than that. You’re also probably wondering who Philippa Brynn is, since we never actually call you that. My darling Pippa, oh how time flies by. It seems like just yesterday, I was begging the Doctor that you needed to come early and behold, twelve days before your due date you lazily made your way into the world on a Friday afternoon. It’s funny how once you have children it’s as if you’ve always had children, the way you just fit into the puzzle that is our family.

The differences between Brecken and you have been evident since day one, and I love to see all the little things that make you uniquely you. They say that it isn’t really until around now that a babe’s personality really starts to shine through. But you, you must have a big personality, because it’s been evident since day one. You are such an observer, studying everything put in front of you, when you could finally hold objects it thrilled you greatly and you turn them over in your hands and then like most babies, right into the mouth. You love to laugh, especially at your brother who takes great pleasure in making you giggle. You have mastered the art of rolling over and take this new-found ability very seriously.  While you cannot quite sit up yet on your own, perhaps a result of your petite physique, you love to stand and I am nervous you are just going to skip crawling and start running. You’re a bit on the serious side my sweet baby, you make us charm you for those smiles, but when we get them they’re worth every moment. Only now after six months on this planet are you finally giving us an inkling of a routine and only an inkling, never fully willing to commit to something like a normal nap schedule. Yet your are the most content baby I know, nary a cry comes out of you unless it is for some serious grievance. So on this special day, when you are already halfway to a year, I hope you know how much I love you and how much I look forward to our journey ahead.



Sleep Baby Sleep


I’ve created a MONSTER. She’s 5 months old with cheeks like a cherub, but inside her is a little demon that won’t sleep, by herself. So let me tell you a story of exhaustion and sleep deprivation, because clearly you don’t probably already have one of your own. Pippa was the newborn that slept ALL THE TIME, it was insane and a total 180 from Brecken who never slept, hated to sleep and still to this day fights it like a champ. Pippa was always sleeping, to the point people would joke that they had never seen her eyes. I would literally fret about whether to wake her to eat having been engrained with the mantra to never wake a sleeping babe, but what if they hadn’t eaten in almost 6 hours, holy god whose child slept like that, all the time. Mine did. So where did I go wrong? I was greedy. Pippa would generally sleep for anywhere from 3.5-5 hours straight each night in her bassinet in our room (before you get too jealous it was usually 3.5-4), then wake up and nurse, sleep another 1 -2 hours and then wake up again to nurse more, usually around this time Jeff would be getting up to get ready to go to work. After that last nursing she was never too keen on going back to sleep in her bassinet so I would eventually cave and let her sleep with me to get that extra hour or so before Brecken would wake up (usually around 7:30-7:45). I know what you’re saying you judgy judgers “OH NO YOU DI-INT”. I did. And that brilliant little baby caught right on, snapped her little fingers and said WHOA WHOA WHOA Lady I am not going to sleep in this stinky old (from when we we’re kids) bassinet when I can sleep in that big bed with you and Papa! She did this through never-ending screaming when I tried to put her in her bassinet or anywhere else to sleep, crib, pack and play, wherever a warm body was not present.

So now I don’t dream. Because I sleep curled up with a baby in the crook of my arm. Why the crook of my arm you say, because I’m neurotic and terrified that if she isn’t curled up in my arm we will somehow smother her in her sleep. So I know some of you are like what’s the biggie, people co-sleep all the time. Yup there are lots of co-sleepers out there and co-sleeping, specifically planned co-sleeping, is GREAT. This was not planned co-sleeping, my bed is not that big and I just want to dream again and curl my arms around my husband or starfish on my stomach some or most nights. All things impossible with Pippa present. So why don’t I just let her cry it out. Without debating the merits of such practices, eventually I will have to, but what makes our situation different is that she shares a room with her brother. We did this so we could use the main floor bedroom in our house (we have 2 upstairs and 1 main level bedroom) as a play room. So if she cries it out, no one sleeps, not her cranky brother, her Papa who has to go to work and myself who either has to go to work or deal with two super grumpy kids all day. And if you’re thinking well she might only cry for a few minutes, been there tried that. She will scream relentlessly for.what. seems. like. forever. but at the very least is in the hour+ range. SO little by little I keep trying to put her down randomly to get her to catch a few zzzz’s not in my lap, arms, or otherwise attached to my body with little success, but will just keep on trying until I break and let her scream the whole household awake. Unless of course anyone else has some brilliant ideas they would like to share or the government approves drugging your baby.

That was a joke, you can calm down I will not drug my baby. I swear. But Pippa…please, Sleep Baby Sleep!