How Clean is your Clean?

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Brecken rarely put things in his mouth that weren’t supposed to go there. All of my choking neurosis with him was focused on the fact that he never seemed to want to chew his food enough. Nevertheless, given he was my first or because people always want to give you advice, people kept warning me, babies always put things in their mouth that they shouldn’t, you can never be too careful… While likely true for most babies and I’m sure he did but even as I type this I can’t recall anything, no freak out moments where he almost swallowed something he shouldn’t, nada. Now Pippa on the other hand, well I’m going to offer her clean testing services for the  mere price of 1 hour of babysitting or $50.00. Ladies and Gentlemen throw away your white gloves because I assure you I’ve got something better.

The Pippa Test.

I merely set her down near or on the clean service and she will very carefully and thoroughly inspect every square inch of it and find the only speck of dirt around for miles.

Then very carefully she will take out her secret weapon, aka her pointer finger and grind that speck of dirt down onto the floor sooo hard and for sooo long that it is guaranteed to stick to her finger and then BAM before you can say “WHAAAT” it’s in her mouth. And before you can blink an eye she’s eaten dirt, dog hair, a combination of dirt and dog hair, the clear tag from a clothing purchase….the list goes ON and FREAKING ON…

I see an emergency room visit in our future very soon unless I really resort to caging my baby. Because in a house with two dogs and a two year old, lets just say she’s having herself a field day. Can babies have pica, because the concerning part is she doesn’t seem to mind the taste of mounds of dog hair? Even better yet, this little lean mean sneaky eating machine is now refusing to take a bottle if I’m not here…Fab-u-NOT.

So now my new goal is trying to not only keep our house which is a DISASTER due to all our traveling as of late clean but to keep it Pippa clean and find something she will eat on the days I work. Sigh. Do any of your babies have strange okay maybe this isn’t so strange, lets say aggravating habits?

lean mean blue eyed dirt eating machine

Don’t let her fool you, she’s a lean, mean, blue-eyed, dirt-eating machine!

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