I was finishing up changing Pippa’s diaper and getting her jams on last night when I noticed that Jeff was cutting Brecken’s stories abnormally short, skipping pages here and there. That is not my husband, he’s not that guy that skips pages because he doesn’t want to read his son a book, so the little invisible antenna on the top of my head went up and beeped something about this picture isn’t right. When I inquired as to why the stories were being shortened, he responded something to the effect that he couldn’t stand how bad Brecken smelled. This time, maybe not so much in his defense, I moved into action, clearly if our son smells that bad, regardless of bedtime, he needs a bath!!! So off came the jammies, t-shirt and diaper and into the bath we went. As we’re doing this I’m thinking I don’t really thing he smells that bad, but I my olfactory cells notoriously fail me so perhaps it was just me I thought. After getting clean and scrubbed from head to toe we grabbed his jammies, I mean he only wore them for like 15 minutes and went to get him dressed again.
That’s when IT. HIT. US. The FUNK that STUNK!!! His pajamas smelled like a long lost sippy of milk, the kind that should just stay lost. The kind that when I would find them while pregnant with Pippa would definitely lead to a visit with the porcelain gods. His pajamas reeked of spoiled milk. Hmmm he wasn’t recently drinking milk but had spilled some milk on himself earlier, maybe it had transferred. Jeff yanked some new pajamas out of the drawer, they smelled too. At this point I think Jeff may have put his head in the drawer, bad idea, everything stunk. Moving on to his armoire I started grabbing clothes out, same thing. It was as if we had washed a gallon of spoiled milk with all of his clothes. They were stomach wrenching. This wasn’t a faint trace of spoiled milk smell it was ad nauseum, if we could bottle this smell and sell it for war we would, because it’s a weapon of olfactory destruction, sure to lure people away from whatever your prize or at least make them curl in revoltion. We still aren’t sure where it came from or how it got here, but we’re desperately trying to make it go away. As if I had somehow known that such an event would occur, I bought some new detergent to try with our cloth diapers to see if they would help with some of the build up, so I’m really hoping that this Rockin Green stuff really rocks, because for the sake of our olfactory nerves and my wallet this Funk needs to GO!!!!! As much as I love to shop, especially for my children, I don’t really want to buy a brand new wardrobe for my 2 year old especially when he already has a pretty stellar albeit stinky one.
So the below pictures have absolutely nothing to do with this post, I just thought I’d throw a few on from our adventures in the yard so you can see I really have kids although Pippa isn’t pictured here and I’m not some crazy lady with imaginary kids blogging about parenting, or am I? Just kidding.