Sleep Baby Sleep

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I’ve created a MONSTER. She’s 5 months old with cheeks like a cherub, but inside her is a little demon that won’t sleep, by herself. So let me tell you a story of exhaustion and sleep deprivation, because clearly you don’t probably already have one of your own. Pippa was the newborn that slept ALL THE TIME, it was insane and a total 180 from Brecken who never slept, hated to sleep and still to this day fights it like a champ. Pippa was always sleeping, to the point people would joke that they had never seen her eyes. I would literally fret about whether to wake her to eat having been engrained with the mantra to never wake a sleeping babe, but what if they hadn’t eaten in almost 6 hours, holy god whose child slept like that, all the time. Mine did. So where did I go wrong? I was greedy. Pippa would generally sleep for anywhere from 3.5-5 hours straight each night in her bassinet in our room (before you get too jealous it was usually 3.5-4), then wake up and nurse, sleep another 1 -2 hours and then wake up again to nurse more, usually around this time Jeff would be getting up to get ready to go to work. After that last nursing she was never too keen on going back to sleep in her bassinet so I would eventually cave and let her sleep with me to get that extra hour or so before Brecken would wake up (usually around 7:30-7:45). I know what you’re saying you judgy judgers “OH NO YOU DI-INT”. I did. And that brilliant little baby caught right on, snapped her little fingers and said WHOA WHOA WHOA Lady I am not going to sleep in this stinky old (from when we we’re kids) bassinet when I can sleep in that big bed with you and Papa! She did this through never-ending screaming when I tried to put her in her bassinet or anywhere else to sleep, crib, pack and play, wherever a warm body was not present.

So now I don’t dream. Because I sleep curled up with a baby in the crook of my arm. Why the crook of my arm you say, because I’m neurotic and terrified that if she isn’t curled up in my arm we will somehow smother her in her sleep. So I know some of you are like what’s the biggie, people co-sleep all the time. Yup there are lots of co-sleepers out there and co-sleeping, specifically planned co-sleeping, is GREAT. This was not planned co-sleeping, my bed is not that big and I just want to dream again and curl my arms around my husband or starfish on my stomach some or most nights. All things impossible with Pippa present. So why don’t I just let her cry it out. Without debating the merits of such practices, eventually I will have to, but what makes our situation different is that she shares a room with her brother. We did this so we could use the main floor bedroom in our house (we have 2 upstairs and 1 main level bedroom) as a play room. So if she cries it out, no one sleeps, not her cranky brother, her Papa who has to go to work and myself who either has to go to work or deal with two super grumpy kids all day. And if you’re thinking well she might only cry for a few minutes, been there tried that. She will scream relentlessly for.what. seems. like. forever. but at the very least is in the hour+ range. SO little by little I keep trying to put her down randomly to get her to catch a few zzzz’s not in my lap, arms, or otherwise attached to my body with little success, but will just keep on trying until I break and let her scream the whole household awake. Unless of course anyone else has some brilliant ideas they would like to share or the government approves drugging your baby.

That was a joke, you can calm down I will not drug my baby. I swear. But Pippa…please, Sleep Baby Sleep!

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2 responses »

  1. OMG Amanda, I can sympathize with you. We also have created a monster, and though mine is sleeping in his crib now….he is still nursing 1 or two times a night and he is 13 months, and like you not planning on co-sleeping, I did not plan on nursing for this long. It is definitely a challenge when it is something that you didn’t intend on doing with your baby. He slept with us until a couple months ago, for at least a few hours a night, and also like you, he doesn’t have his own bedroom, so again I understand the dread of nightfall which used to be such a great time of day…oh so long ago before parenthood. Hopefully some time in the future we will all just get to sleep through the night again…it’s amazing how that is taken for granted when you are childless! Good luck to you and I will be thinking of you while I am up in the middle of the night, and know that you are definitely not the only mom with a cherub cheeked, sleepless monster on your hands!

  2. Yikes, that sounds equally as frustrating!! I nursed Brecken until he was 14 months but he would sleep through the night and I basically only nursed him to sleep at night and then in the morning when he woke up. I think that’s part of my fear is she is nursing more as she gets older not less, it’s just so convenient for her. We’re starting her with food next month so I’m hoping as we get into that she will become less dependent on nursing and maybe start sleeping better. Good luck with yours, they sure are beyond cute, I can’t believe how much Elayna looks like you!!1

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